


i miss you right about now.

by lukioo



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Confessions, Frustration, Jay just needs to be hugged, M/M, Pining, Rants, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukioo/pseuds/lukioo
Summary: Jay hadn’t had a clear head ever since Tim came into his life, even less with whatever was spiraling around Alex Kralie had become part of the issue.One night, Jay decides to let out some steam with Tim willingly joining him. Two men alone in a motel room ranting about their feelings can’t lead to anything good, right?Or at least, nothing good when they wake up in the morning.
Relationships: Jay/Timothy "Tim" W.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	i miss you right about now.

It was a long drive before Jay finally decided to stop and get some rest. Tim had been sitting in the passenger seat, looking out the window quietly while soft music droned through the car speakers. 

It had been raining for most of the day and had cast a gloomy mood on the two of them, making them both feel more tired than usual. 

They stopped at a run down motel around 11pm and Jay rubbed his eyes tiredly. He felt sick and only wanted to shower and sleep, but knowing his luck, he’d probably be wide awake all night, too paranoid to sleep. 

The motel was small and just off the side of the highway with a burnt out sign indicating it’s location. From a distance it didn’t look to terrible, but after a closer inspection, Jay soon came to the conclusion that it wasn’t taken care of too well. He was desperate though. They had been driving for what seemed to be hours in total silence—except for whenever they took a bathroom break or got hungry but that was the extent of their interaction—and both needed to just sleep some things off. 

The yellow street lights made Jay’s skin look blotchy and the aquamarine trim of the motel against the red brick was something he wished to forget. The rain made everything so much more sad and dark. It was a warm rain, the kind that felt a bit like sweat instead of cold rain. It was gross.

It fit his mood, though. God, he felt so gross.

They pulled into the parking lot and Jay rested just forehead on the steering wheel once he turned the vehicle off. _Fuck._ He could feel Tim’s eyes on him. 

“I feel like shit.” Jay breathed, pushing himself up and getting out of the car. Running on only four hours of sleep every night was really screwing him over, on top of the crippling fear of being alone and having something watching his every move.

Although Tim and Jay bickered pretty often, it was better than being alone. He knew that Tim watched him when he wasn’t looking, but at least he knew who Tim was. It was different having masked beings following him and staring at him from windows or tall men always appearing when he least expected it. 

That shit scared him more than anything Tim could ever do. Jay took his backpack out of the backseat, slinging it over his shoulder and picking up the camera. Tim grabbed his stuff and walked towards the entrance. As they walked in, Jay was hit with the heavy smell of old bedsheets and too sweet candles that were trying to hide it. 

He wrinkled his nose and tried to ignore it as Tim booked a room for the night. There were strange abstract paintings on the wall, all with monochromatic color schemes and strange splotches of paint in random places. The lights were dim and the halls were long with peeling wallpaper and strange paintings hanging off the walls. 

The feeling of the motel was overwhelming and made his head start to hurt. He was anxious about every little thing and the jingle of Tim’s keys as he rummaged around his pockets had him digging his nails into his arm nervously. It wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right. 

Jay tried to shake the uncertain feeling in his head, trying to blame it on the lack of sleep and chaos that had been occurring the past couple of days. He needed a shower to clear his mind and a good night’s sleep. 

“Room 11, just down the hall. Last one on the left.” The tired woman at the front desk informed them, handing Tim the room key. Jay nodded halfheartedly to her, following after Tim. 

The halls didn’t feel as long as they looked, but the sounds coming from the other rooms had Jay keeping close to Tim. It was a variety of sounds, from moans to snores and cries. 

Tim unlocked the 11th door, making a gesture for Jay to go in first. His first impression of the room was that it was extremely cramped. There was barely any room between the bed and the wall where there was a window. A little nightstand was on the right side of the bed. Tim went into the bathroom, leaving Jay alone in the main part of the room. 

_Thin walls._ Jay noted, putting his backpack down on the floor and sitting on the edge of the bed. He took off his shoes and hat, sighing deeply. Jay could hear Tim shuffling through the bathroom and laid back on the bed. His throat stung as he thought about the past couple of months. 

Why the hell did he think this was a good idea. Why couldn’t he just leave things alone and let it be what it was. Why did he have to get himself into this mess. 

Jay tried to remember what Tim had said to him in the parking lot that one night. Tim was getting better until he came along. It was all his fault. Why did he have to ruin everything he tried to get close to. 

Tim came out of the bathroom, taking his shoes off by the door and putting his backpack down by Jay’s. Jay pushed himself upright on the bed, rubbing at his eyes. God, he must look pathetic to Tim. 

“I’m gonna take a shower.” Jay said, standing up and looking away from Tim. 

“Okay.”

Jay hoped the hot water would wash away all his guilt and fear. Once he pulled the door closed and latched it, he turned on the shower and stared at himself in the smudged mirror. He stared at his face until it looked deformed and fake. His skin was blotchy and red and the bags underneath his eyes were only getting more obvious the longer time went on.

After a while, the room began to fog up and his reflection began to disappear underneath the hot fog. He stripped off his clothes and got into the scalding water, wincing at the heat. 

He thought of a lot of things underneath that water. He thought of Alex, aiming a gun at him, thought of the tapes, and he thought of Tim. God, he couldn’t not think about Tim. How could someone be so pretty. Jay bit his lip just thinking of what he wanted Tim to do to him. God, he was so pathetic.

After washing himself and standing underneath the hot water for another solid ten minutes, he finally got out. He toweled his hair with a towel and put it around his hips after realizing he hadn't brought anything into the bathroom with him. He might’ve been depressed and have a bad memory, but he wasn’t putting on the same underwear he’d worn all day. 

Giving himself one more good look in the mirror, he left the bathroom with his clothes in hand to get a pair of clean underwear from his bag. Tim was sat on the bed, surfing through channels on the television.

Jay could feel his eyes against his back as he searched through his bag, the television droning on in the background. 

“Turn, please.” Tim turned around when he said that, looking at the wall with another strange painting hanging on it. Jay quickly pulled on his underwear, letting the towel fall to the floor. 

“You can turn back around now.” Jay murmured, grabbing old gym shorts and putting those on. He sits down on the bed beside Tim, who is trying to stay focused on whatever the hell was playing on the tv. 

Jay picked at the skin around his nails, staring just above the tv, trying to make it seem like he was watching. In reality, he couldn’t stop thinking about Tim. The feeling of his hands on Jay’s thighs, digging into the soft skin and leaving small bruises. He thought of what he might taste like, cigarettes and cinnamon probably, if Jay had to guess. His cologne always had a slight hint of cinnamon to it. 

Jay bit his lip, trying to figure out a way to begin a conversation until Tim turned off the tv. 

“What’s the matter.” Tim turned to Jay, putting down the remote on the beside table. Jay’s eyes widened. 

“I-What? Nothing. I’m alright. Everything’s fine.” Jay raised his hands, trying to force a lighthearted smile. By Tim’s reaction, it wasn’t very convincing. 

“You’re over here brooding and stuff. Picking at your hands and glancing everywhere.” Tim stated, pointing at Jay’s shaking hands. “It’s worrying.”

”I’m fine, Tim.”

Tim raised his eyebrow. “I’m just trying to help so you stop acting so paranoid. I know I can be an ass, but I can tell you’re upset about something and you can talk to me.”

Jay thought about telling Tim to forget about and that he was just going to go to bed, but then he began to think about when it was when he last spoke to someone about how he was feeling. He couldn’t remember, which was probably a bad sign. 

Jay sighed deeply, putting his face in his hands. He swallowed thickly, beginning to talk and let everything go. “I have no idea what to do, Tim. Everything is spiraling out of my control and I feel so helpless. I’m just watching everything happen and I can’t even do anything to stop it. Everything feels so off recently and I can’t remember anything.”

”It’s alright.”

“I just feel so pathetic and that I can’t do anything to stop what’s happening. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t want you to get hurt Tim and I’m so sorry for dragging you back into this. I should’ve just stopped when I realized I was being watched and that I was turning into Alex, but I was so fucking scared. I’m sorry, Tim.” Jay laughed breathily, wiping away the tears that threatened to fall. “I’m so sorry, Tim.”

”It’s okay, Jay. You’re not turning into Alex, I promise. You’re nothing like him at all, Jay.”

“There’s just nothing I can do. The tapes are practically useless at telling me anything I already know and with the threat of Alex and that _Thing_ always hanging above our heads, I’m so terrified of what’s going to happen next.”

“It’ll be alright, Jay.” Tim murmured, rubbing Jay’s shoulder. 

Jay looked at Tim from underneath his hands that were covering his face. “Promise?” 

“Yeah, promise. This will hopefully all be over soon and you won’t have to worry about this anymore. It’ll turn out alright.” Tim reassured him, smiling softly to him.

After a brief moment of silence with Jay looking at the bedsheets and Tim rubbing small circles into his back, Tim finally broke the silence.

“I really wanna kiss you right now.” He murmured, laughing uncomfortably and hoping he didn’t overstep his boundaries. 

“Then kiss me.” Jay looked at him, his eyes still a bit red and puffy from him crying just a few minutes prior. It wasn’t the best look on him, but Tim didn’t mind.

“It’s alright if I do?” Tim asked, not exactly expecting a response from Jay. He expected a “no” and to receive the cold shoulder for the rest of the night or to just be kissed, nothing more.

“That’s why I said it.” Jay smiled, grabbing Tim’s hand and putting it on his neck. They moved closer until their noses were almost touching and just before Jay had gone completely crosseyed, Tim pulled him into a kiss. 

It was slow and Tim tasted strongly of cigarettes, but Jay didn’t mind. It was nice. He moved closer and deepened the kiss, running his hands through Tim’s hair. 

Maybe Jay would be able to let his guard down, for just one night. 

Just one night. 

**Author's Note:**

> slightly inconsistent and a bit ooc, but i’m proud of myself for writing all of this in less than four hours. woo


End file.
